How can ONE person be SO evil and heartless?
I feel I cannot rest or even breathe in her presence. As if encaged is safer and better than free and exposed to possible harm.

The emotional and deliberate torture is enough to drive any sane person insane, and forces one to a low never imagined possible. I find myself feeling and saying and doing things I never thought myself capable of, and highly disapprove of. I don't know if I'm being tested. If so, I'm failing horribly, as I struggle to drown out the ugly and stay pure.
I always had high hopes and once upon a time believed there can be harmony anywhere, but since then I've been tested and prodded and trampled upon, wondering where the humanity has gotten lost in this equation. At times I try and stoop just as low, or even lower, and succeed, making me feel so dirty and trashy and ugly, that I feel ashamed of myself. I should know better.
How anyone can come out of a situation like this is beyond comprehension, and I take my hat off to that person.

I once had hopes that there's a way of helping this afflicted soul that so generously sows affliction, and as I am sure there still is, I find myself in a space where I have trouble feeling that empathy towards her that I've felt before. She has single-handedly pushed away any and every person that wants to care for and love her. I solemnly believe she wants to be loved, but in protecting her heart for so long, has forgotten how to allow people to.

I pray to God for strenght nd patience, so I can bear my cross and survive. In the process being able to resist the urge to fight and rather turn the other cheek and somehow try and help.